Monday, April 20, 2009

Went shopping this weekend and looked in a mirror. I hardly recognized the person looking back. I sat down - with an armload of clothes in my hands, and just stared. Who is she? and where did I go? And why didn't turning 40 have all the answers I thought it was going to have.

As I wondered who I am - I also wondered where I'm going - I thought by now I would have moved forward with my life. But I feel like I'm just standing still or treading water. Even x in all of his tumultousness has moved on- in a bad marriage but moved on just the same.

I hate feeling in limbo like this. I am meeting some major goals in my life. Almost finished with my masters. Lost XX amount of weight. I'm in between sizes and just in between everything it seems. I need some direction. Hoping for some hope - gotta build back up my faith. Looking in the mirror - sometimes we don't like what we see - but it's there so we can modify that reflection.